The James Bond Spectre TV Spot Is Weak

in Movies/Video by

HINT: THINGS EXPLODE

I was a wee teenager with thinner thighs and a stomach as flat as it gets when I discovered who James Bond was and there really was no turning back from there. Learning as much as I could about this man consumed quite a bit of my time. He was the ultimate action movie figure…until the other JB (Jason Bourne) showed up, that is. With the wild success of The Bourne Identity series, the team behind Bond must have gone back to school because four years later, one of the most well known spies in the literary and cinematic universes returned with true grit.

With Daniel Craig replacing the aging Pierce Brosnan as the face of James Bond, the franchise was completely revitalized. Casino Royale, Craig’s first Bond film, delighted me beyond my wildest dreams and grossed almost $600 million worldwide. When he emerged from the water in that little bathing suit, it brought new meaning to “cold shower therapy.” However, the movie’s atrocious follow-up, Quantum of Solace, earned $586 million worldwide. Skyfall, the third series in the reboot, proved much more popular and made history by crossing the $1 billion mark in global ticket sales.

Thanks to a cryptic message and an unraveling secret he might want to keep under wraps, James Bond is coming back, ya’ll! “You’re a kite dancing in a hurricane, Mr. Bond,” one of the film’s characters says. Seriously. If the kite looks like Daniel Craig, I’m willing to put on my storm-chasing pants and brave it out. It’s the gentle yet eery tinker you hear as James walks through a group of faces eclipsed by shadows that you start to think “Oh, it’s about to get good.” The trailer then dissolves into an unfortunate formula of a few punches being thrown, on-foot pursuits, car chases, some explosions and, of course, at least one tender (yet probably deadly) moment between the hero and his dame.

JAMES BOND

Yes, Léa Seydoux. The world now hates you. In other news, here’s the TV spot!

As a fan, I will not hesitant in saying how excited I am for Craig’s fourth performance as Mr. Shaken Not Stirred to be splashed across movie theatre screens later this year. However, as someone who loves a well edited promo spot, I have to say that I was a little underwhelmed with how the story was presented above. The Spectre teaser trailer released back in March contains a lot of the same footage but has smarter editing and actually left me wanting more. As I learned while working in television, it doesn’t matter if the actual program is shit or not. The promo spot needs to be balls to the wall amazing so that you draw people in and get those ratings.

In conclusion, if they’ve only released a teaser trailer (which was quite lengthy in my opinion for a teaser) and this TV spot that barely tried it, I’m holding out hope for something even better with the “official” trailer. If it’s not spectacular spectacular, I’m gonna exact my revenge by going on more Tinder dates.

There is no correlation between the two but I am looking for a boyfriend.

If you know anyone, tweet them my way.

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